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04 March 2006 @ 06:42 pm
ok so i love my friend because..

A. they are as random as i am.
B. we have so much fun doing nothing.
C. were going to Chicago

not only are we going in 2 hours but we decided to go in the matter of 4 seconds.

i mean how fucking sweet are we?

pictures will be posted when i get back.
20 February 2006 @ 02:42 pm
You make me wanna throw my pager out the window
Tell MCI to cut the phone cord
Break my lease so I can move
Cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo
I wanna put your number on the call block
Have AOL make my emails stop
Cause you a bug a boo
You buggin what? you buggin who?
You buggin me!
And dont you see it aint cool

It's not hot that you be callin me stressin me pagin my beeper you're just
And its not hot that you be leavin me messages every 10 minutes and then you
stop by
When I first met you, you were cool
But it was game you had me fooled
Cause 20 minutes after i gave you my number you already had my mailbox full

So what you bought a pair of shoes
What now i guess you think I owe you
You dont have to call as much as you do
I'll give em back to be through with you
And so what my momma likes you
what now i guess you think i will too
Even if the pope he said he likes
you too
i dont really care cause you're a
bug a boo

It's not hot that when in blockin your phone number you call me from over
your best friends house
And it's not hot that I cant even go out with my girlfriends without you
trackin me down
You need to chill out with that mess
Cause you cant keep havin me stressed
Cause everytime my phone rings it seems to be you and im prayin that it is
someone else

When you call me on the phone you're buggin me
When you follow me around you're buggin me
Everything you do be buggin me
You buggin me, you buggin me
When you show up at my door you buggin me
When you open up your mouth you buggin me
Everytime I see your face youre buggin me
You're buggin me your buggin me
25 January 2006 @ 06:10 pm
The shattered glass covered everything. Rusty metal pipes coiled up begging us to slice ourselfs open again. Leaning over part of a crumbled wall to look at the peaceful disaster . I wanted to die there.... It was like a poem with no words... Just like my life. We’re growing up to fast. our life’s have become lonely and faded. We walk faster. Part of the factory still stood. Metal was creaking and the bricks were falling apart. A rusted stair case cut our palms open, like it was suppose to, like it was waiting for us. We’re living our life’s for disaster. Doing everything we can to make it happen. We lost all the memories we thought we had, and all the meaning in this. We’re falling apart like this place. And now its to late. we scatter our thoughts though this mess, fallen and broken in a million tinny pieces. I was 18, just a year out of the hospital. What happened can never be fixed just like this place. I wondered why we came here, or maybe just why I didn’t want to leave. I picked up a brick like it was piece of me and dropped it as we let ourself die here. - Laura
Current Mood: unknown
04 January 2006 @ 09:52 pm
less and less everyday.
soon nothing.
its going to be great when a size zero falls off.
i'm sick of the new me.
back to the old me.
03 January 2006 @ 07:19 pm
it is not the firing squad but the blindfold that makes us tense the loss of perfection leaves no cause to persist in searching leaving me longing for the day that finally smothers all hope.
Current Mood: fucking upset
25 December 2005 @ 04:58 am
4:58 a.m. crying in a room that isn't mine.

i'm all that left of yesterday.
broke hearted.
covered in scares.
one for each story of my life.
i could read them to you like a book if you would let me.

there are just to many things that can't ever be forgotten.

to many things i can never stop thinking about.

i'm a reminder of my past.

no one to take it away.
or help me though it.

i'm a mess.

i want you back.

but that can never happen.
25 December 2005 @ 03:36 am
I don’t know what to do with myself right now.
I can’t even explain what’s going though my head let alone my heart.
This has been the hardest two week of my life and keeping it all in just stopped working.
I wish someone would kill me.
I don’t know what I want.
I can’t think.
I can’t explain.
Fuck this life.
Fuck losing people you love.
Fuck Christmas.
Fuck the memories that come with it.

Can’t sleep
Not just tonight but every night
I missed out on everything I wanted
And lost everything I had.
No one is hear to hold my hand and walk me though this.
3 years and I wont let myself heal.
I hurt everyone around me because
And I wont let anyone get close.
Love is lose and I wont let it happen again.

Happy birthday to the child I never had.
21 December 2005 @ 08:38 pm
to look at you through a blood glass mirror/
A chilling dying empty feeling/
A final metal bell still ringing/
Over the icy hanging branches/
To live in silence as doorbells ring/
Happy girlfriends read perfumed love notes/
Burning oil under my nails /
like a secret I open just to prove I am/
I swallow your words without complaint/
you raise you hand to strike me/
my burned body sinks back/
I was a shadow/
tears, scars can't express the pain/
falling, crashing, one tortured feeling/
the floor the depths within me screaming/
to much to soon has changed./
Hi my name is Laura.
And I love to stay the night in hospitals all alone.
With no one there to let me know its going to be ok.
Ives and needles being pushed all over my body.
Passing out and being moved form room to room.
Everyone’s freaking out.
They don’t know what wrong with me.
I’m possibly diabetic.
they want to run test to see if the spot on my arm is cancer.
They think there is something wrong with my brain… By that they mean I could have a brain aneurism like my dad did when he was my age.
My panic attacks where full blown by now.
I can’t breathe at all.
My body is numb.
And I can’t move.
My muscles are so tight… that they are scared I’m going to break my own bones.
And they starting to think I could have a heart problem too.
And now maybe a lung problem.
But they know one thing that is wrong for sure.
And finally they tell me I may never be able to have kids.
All because of the cysts on my ovaries and how they lay.
My body seems to think I’m pregnant because of it to.
I may have to me a hysterectomy
4 weeks of tests coming up.
Still I’m sitting alone.
And when they finally let me go I have no one to come pick me up.
So I have to find a taxi to take me back to my apt.
where there is no one to comfort me and let me know its going to be ok.
So I’m sitting here alone thinking about the 90742976 other things they told me is or could be wrong.
I just want to go home.
I need to some to come and let me know it will be ok, hold me close and kiss my forehead the why my mom did when I was upset.
20 November 2005 @ 11:39 pm
one day i'll learn.
but as for now i'll cry.
never give your heart away.
when you get it back
it will be in two
and you'll have to hold
the pieces together
but you can only hold them for so long.